With this being the season of family and food, I'm doing something different: I'm taking care of myself. Meaning, I'll no longer damage myself with food and worrisome thoughts.
My journey really began in mid-October when my roommate and I moved into our wonderful home. Everything started out great, but I slowly felt myself sliding back into my old habits: getting up late, eating terrible foods, overeating those foods, and being an all-around lazy bum. When we moved in, I was roughly two hundred and eighty seven pounds - my heaviest ever. My long term goal is not as important to me at this point, but rather my short term goals of eating healthier and exercising.
I will be logging my journey at least once a week from here on out. I want to remember myself at the start, during the process to my goal weight, and beyond.
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I love this quote from Lucille Ball. Although it may not hold true all the time, I believe that once enough time has gone by, and if you've loved yourself in that time, then the picture will be whole and it'll seem as if everything fell into place - even if it's not what you expected!
This journey is truly going to be about having to love myself. Not in a selfish way, but in a healthy, respectful manner where I treat my body not as I have, but instead with love by giving it what it deserves and needs in the way of food and exercise.
On a similar, but different note, I am going to cease all alcohol intake starting today. I will allot myself two drinks on New Year's Eve and then re-evaluate.
World, to be honest, I feel I have the makings for dependency issues with alcohol. I just need to be honest about that because it is part of who I am. I'm fearful that when I stop depending upon food for comfort, that my drinking would take over as my enemy.
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"This is the start of a beautiful life" she said as she began removing her bad habits. And that's the way she'll stay. It won't be easy, but it'll be worth it.
Sincerely,
CJB
